It seems that no matter how much we love someone, and how deeply we are committed, keeping the sizzle alive in a relationship takes a little work. Here are ten ways you can help ignite the flame that was there when you first got together.

1. Don't take your relationship for granted. Everyone is guilty of this. Time passes, we assume our partner will always be with us. We have gotten used to the things they do for us that in the beginning seemed special. Every so often it is a good idea to remind yourself of the good things this person has brought into your life. Appreciation for your partner strengthens the bond between you and a strong bond naturally leads to intimacy.
2. Spend time together doing something you both enjoy. This is always a good idea as it builds stronger bonds which promote intimacy. This may seem obvious but sometimes we get so busy, we forget to do the basic things that make a relationship strong. Along with this one comes communication. Communicating your feelings and desires to your partner is very important.
3. Set the mood. Dim the lights, light candles, have soft, seductive music playing in the background. Share a romantic dinner. Light a fire and curl up together. Flirt. Do different things to make the atmosphere conducive to romance.
4. Lingerie. New lingerie for him or her can add a little spice. Once a week, make the effort to look your best and put on something seductive. Your partner will appreciate the effort.
5. Full body massages. One week he gets a full body massage, the next week she does. You will look forward to that night.
6. Fantasies. Fantasizing is normal. If there is a fantasy that you have that involves your partner, tell him/her. Women generally have a harder time doing this then men do, but ladies, most men are excited by the idea that you fantasize about them.
7. Play games. You can turn any game into one that will lead to intimacy. Make a wager at the start of the game and each of you state what you want if you win. Nothing is out of bounds as long as the two of you agree.
8. Role Playing. Although you may feel a little silly at first, this can be quite exciting. Have him dress up like a fireman. Have her wear the French maid's outfit. Whatever you can think of.
9. Light Bondage. No I'm not talking about whips and chains, however, padded handcuffs, a blindfold, or simply tying your hands together with pantyhose can add a new dimension to your love life. Letting your partner have complete control, or you having complete control over them can be exciting.
10. Write a steamy story. Write a story with you and your partner as the main characters. Let your imagination go. Read your story to your partner.

Most things require some effort on your part to be successful. Often we sit back and wait for our partner to do the work, justifying it by thinking we've already done more than our fair share.. It is important to remember that investing a little effort will often result in a big payoff which will make the both of you happy.

2005 Patricia Fason