I've been thinking about effective wishing vs. ineffective wishing.

Several months ago I found myself saying, "I wish I could be a good mother." Immediately, I stopped and examined the sentence, because I detected something wrong with it. It was passive and indirect; it really didn't ask for anything. The could was a block, a way to avoid responsibility. If I could do something, it doesnt mean that I would do it.

"No," I thought, "I wish to be a good mother."

Here is a wish that is direct; it asks for something and takes responsibility for the wish and the result. It even feels different when I say it, more solid and weighty than the former.

Its the same with the wish to remember ourselves. We say, I wish to remember myself, not, I wish I could remember myself. Again, if I could remember myself, it does not mean I would remember myself.

I was taught the correct pattern, which is, "I wish to remember myself." But I unconsciously changed the pattern to, "I wish I could be a good mother. This is a good example of how things will naturally and mechanically change toward a downward and unproductive direction.

A line of action will not continue all on its own. It needs conscious and directed help.